The Seven Bases of Confusion — 2

Rule 2: Confused People Think There is Only One Viewpoint


Con­fused Peo­ple are aware of only one point of view — theirs.

The Phoenix Perspective:
there are many points of view and most­ly, they are equal­ly valid.

fight

Ever notice how strong­ly peo­ple argue for their pre­con­ceived notions? A cou­ple, for exam­ple, will be fight­ing all the time. No mat­ter what the agreed upon top­ic, all fights are about one thing: who is right. No won­der noth­ing gets resolved. 

The mature per­son rec­og­nizes that no one on this plan­et sees the world, or any­thing in it, exact­ly the same way as they do. 

Look at your hand, palm side toward you. You would describe it dif­fer­ent­ly from a per­son sit­ting oppo­site to you. Same hand, dif­fer­ent view­point. All con­flict is like this. Same issue, dif­fer­ent descrip­tion. Each per­son col­lects infor­ma­tion about the world.

Each per­son decides how to sort, arrange, explain, under­stand and respond to that infor­ma­tion. No two peo­ple can ever do this in exact­ly the same way. There­fore, there will always be dif­fer­ence of opin­ion over meaning. 

Know­ing that, why fight about it? Instead, learn to work with it. Know yourself.

Exam­ine the only belief sys­tem you have a chance of chang­ing. Yours. Fig­ure out why you make the deci­sions you do. Do you, for exam­ple, feel like a fail­ure? Like your rela­tion­ships are all dead-end? This is sim­ply what you believe. If you argue that your present way of see­ing and doing is the true, you imprison your­self in that belief.

The solu­tion is this: Under­stand that your real­i­ty is exact­ly as you per­ceive it to be. Matu­ri­ty is about com­par­ing, with­out judg­ing ‑what oth­ers know and do with what you know and do. Then you see that far from there being one way to do things, there are infi­nite ways. None bet­ter or worse than oth­ers. Sim­ply ways that work, and ways that don’t. 

Dis­card what does not work Exper­i­ment with what does. Ask ques­tions and be sat­is­fied with pro­vi­sion­al answers. In truth, none of us know any­thing for sure.

Your sec­ond exer­cise: So, what did you learn last week? How many of the things you do are based upon a neg­a­tive belief? What would it be like to decide that there are many points of view?


third les­son

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