As a regular reader of Into the Centre I’ve appreciated the insights provided by the bearded gnome who runs the place (Hi Wayne!) Occasionally, I’ve suggested to him that it is sometimes hard to identify with what he is saying, as he is such a ‘pro’ at it. “How can an amateur like me identify with this?”, I said.
When he finished laughing, he suggested I get over myself and just be.
Okay. Be that way.
And as an amateur at all this I thought I’d be pro-active and share some of the things I am finding out on the way to being
It isn’t linear. I like a nice steady progression. If I’m learning a new song on guitar I like that I start off sounding awful, and gradually get better. Eventually the song is worth listening to. ‘Being’ is another matter. One day I can feel like I ‘get it’ and the next I’m clueless. I frustrate myself over not being evolved every day. All the time. Continuously. Instead, I’ve come to the realization that whatever state I find myself in only applies to this day, this moment, and doesn’t guarantee that I’ll build on it (though I do occasionally.)
Don’t make a religion out of a moment. See point #1. I’ve wasted much time attempting to build a belief system out of a brief moment of revelation. So much time, in fact, that whatever epiphany I had in the moment gets lost in the rush to put structure around it. Lo and behold!! When I let the moment occur and then let it go I don’t lose anything!
I get in my own way. It was so much easier when it was everyone else’s fault that something didn’t work for me. This whole ‘I’m self-responsible’ thing means that I am in my own way.I don’t get it?I must not want to.I find it difficult to grasp a concept?Well, why would I choose to make it difficult? I’ve learned to ask “how am I getting in my own way this time?”I don’t always know the answer to that, AND at least remind myself that it IS about me.
Laughing beats frustration. When I get confused, or realize I’m in a familiar pattern, or catch myself blaming someone else, frustration usually ensued. I don’t laugh at myself easily (and I don’t much like it when you do it either, thanks for asking), so frustration seemed the ‘best way’ to go. Guess what? Laughing at myself is a lot easier on the soul. This may come easily to some of you; good on ya. Not to me.I’ve even taken to asking my family to deliberately laugh at me when I get angry about something stupid (in other words, whenever I get angry.) It’s a constant reminder that it just isn’t worth all the energy.
I can’t ‘do’ being. Lord knows I’ve tried. Did the courses, read the books, consulted with the Gurus.I’ve often asked Wayne whether my Bodywork was ‘good’ or ‘bad’. He wisely says nothing. He knows that if he tells me that one piece of Bodywork is better than another, then I’ll expend way too much energy in trying to DO good Bodywork, instead of BEING in my body.Same with being itself. I keep looking for the example, the demonstration, the video of how to ‘do’ being. Turns out I have to ‘be’ without a manual. THAT sucks.
I’ve five more to add in, but I’ll wait until Wayne approves these (maybe next week??)