More on Body Embarrassment

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The Importance of Touch


Peo­ple often ask me about Body­work the­o­ry — it was table con­ver­sa­tion last night, with friends. By the end of the con­ver­sa­tion, my friends had decid­ed to encour­age their adult chil­dren to come to one of our 2‑day work­shops. They could “see,” by think­ing of the look of their “kid’s” bod­ies, how much was being “held.”

The sub­ject of this sec­tion of the Body­work area — the woman who was inse­cure about her stom­ach —  made great strides. By work­ing with the Body­work metaphor, then going home and doing more with her part­ner, her mus­cu­lar hold­ing pat­terns relaxed. I used the word “unfold­ing” to describe what I hoped her mus­cles would do. She’s fig­ured out how to do that! 

The most sig­nif­i­cant part of Body­work, for me, both as a “giv­er” and a “receiv­er,” is plac­ing one’s body into the care of anoth­er. Make no mis­take. This form of Body­work hurts, a lot. Tons of emo­tions emerge, if we choose to let them. But the upside, the rea­son for all the effort is this: fol­low­ing the release of the emo­tions is a sig­nif­i­cant relax­ing on the whole body.

Then, feel­ings of warmth, chi flow and well-being emanate through­out the body.

The process, though, begins with the sur­ren­der­ing of the need to be in con­trol, and the sur­ren­der­ing of resis­tance to being touched. This, for many peo­ple, is a fun­da­men­tal shift. Attached to that is our resis­tance to the idea that “pain” may be ben­e­fi­cial in release work. A great leap, giv­en our pen­chant for run­ning quick­ly from pain.

free hugs

Men espe­cial­ly are reluc­tant to “give in to their pain.”
We’ve been con­di­tioned to bear up, to be tough, to fight back. It’s alto­geth­er anoth­er thing to active­ly encour­age our­selves to sim­ply let fly with the bot­tled up emo­tions. Yet, if we choose to, an amaz­ing amount of “old stuff” flows away.

In the end, we all need to be touched. We need, des­per­ate­ly, to take our bod­ies seri­ous­ly — to lis­ten to the voice of the body. Body­work is a tool that moves us in this direction.

Transformational Seeing


We’re real­ly talk­ing about choos­ing anoth­er way of see­ing your Body, Soul and Mind. We are exact­ly as we per­ceive our­selves to be. We learn all sorts of lessons about how we look, who we are and why we’re here. Not all of the mes­sages we get are for our benefit.

Trans­for­ma­tion­al See­ing is all about re-vision­ing the way we appear to our­selves. We do this by notic­ing our inhi­bi­tions, and rather than sim­ply cry­ing, “That’s the way I am,” find­ing a way to open up to a new way of seeing.

transformational seeing of the body


The trans­for­ma­tion can be astound­ing! We begin by view­ing our bod­ies gen­tly, freely. The way through the pain of the past is , as we said above, touch based. We find the ways and the means to reach out to oth­ers, pro­fes­sion­als, friends, and have a body expe­ri­ence. The rest of this sec­tion will be devot­ed to sug­ges­tions as to what those expe­ri­ences might look like. 

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