I’ve been holding off on this issue to send it when I had my new book in hand. I’ve got some stuff to mail and e-mail to my wider list, and I’m not wanting to overwhelm your e-mail boxes.
Besides, inspiration for articles comes when it will, and I was waiting for a visit.
I have lots of controls and things on my website, so that I can keep an eye on where people go on the site, and also where they come from. One place people come from is search engines like Google, my personal favourite. I was online on The Phoenix Centre site a couple of days ago, and came upon a listing for Google.
As it happened, Dar was sitting next to me at her computer. I was showing her some of the stats available. I said, “Oh! Here’s a Google search. They typed in something and were directed to our site!” I then slid the cursor over and discovered the two words the person had searched on. I said, “See! They searched on “stupidity” and “innocence.”
Without missing a beat, Dar said, “And they found you!”
She then burst into gales of laughter. So did I. Because I am all of that, and none of that and lots of other things and nothing in particular.
This is the “odd” truth about life – we are part and parcel the stories we tell ourselves. At the same time, the people around us are also telling stories. All this story telling is a good thing, as long as you don’t take it too seriously.
But most do, of course. So much of ourselves is invested in proving our self view to be “true” as opposed to “the story I tell myself.” The more energy we invest into the story, the more insulted we become when our interactions seem to indicate that perhaps there are holes in our understanding.
So, out we trot all of the blaming, thoughtless, rageful comments we can muster. We are so invested in trying to get the world to understand our point of view (even more – not just understand, but agree with) that our focus is drawn into an ego game that we simply can’t win.
A more helpful and healthful recipe is to have a big breath and to let go of this particular weird game. We begin this process by remembering that nothing means anything other than what we think it means. If, then, I can get the joke of why things happen the way they do, and how people might just conceivably have a story that is different from mine, I can treat life gently and with humour.
So, think about your judgments and how you try to trick others and the world into behaving themselves. Have a laugh, and let it go.